


hold me like we're going home

by leov66



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, iacediai's swap au, implied PTSD, implied trauma, jsyk, survivor! keith and prince! shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 11:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leov66/pseuds/leov66
Summary: The nostalgia in Shiro’s voice is painful, but somehow dulled, as if he’s thought about it a lot and just kind of accepted it, made himself swallow all that grief and move on. It makes Keith angry, because Shiro’s too good, too kind to deserve this cruelty from the universe.A swap AU with Keith as thelone wolfand Shiro as thealien prince.





	hold me like we're going home

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [@euphra-sie](https://euphra-sie.tumblr.com) ;)
> 
> also yeah this is a roleswap au hit iacediai up to read more about it and see their stunning art !!!

The room feels way too small, like it shrinks every breath he takes. The darkness doesn’t help much, either, wrapping itself around him like a soft blanket but only further suffocating him in its cold grasp. It’s all too much, he decides, and once he finds enough energy he stands up from his bed and, rather hastily, makes his way out. _Don’t think, don’t think_ , he reminds himself like a mantra like that could help. _Like that has ever helped him_. 

 

Taking his time to walk to the training deck, Keith’s amazed with the silence of the halls. His footsteps echo like they never have before, and the sensation feels good to his ears. It’s calming to have some sort of static against the silence, it keeps him grounded. Back at the Garrison, he used to sneak out to blow off some steam from throughout the day, but nothing really compares to practicing in a castle that’s more than ten thousand years old and bigger than anything he’s seen before.

 

His hand - the _other_ one - itches, as if yearning to be used in combat, and the lack of control he has over it scares him, even if he doesn’t let it show around the rest. He’s _fucking terrified_ of what it can do and he hasn’t even seen all of it. What’s it doing to him? Is it messing with his head? 

 

 _Don’t think, don’t think_ , he hasn’t come here to make conspiracy theories about himself. The deck’s lights start up, slowly, but it’s almost as if the castle was reading his mind because they only shine as bright as he’d like them to, barely illuminating him and the droid that appears in front of him.

 

“Start training sequence level five,” Keith says.

 

It’s easy for him to fall into a rythm when training, push and pull, attack and block, breathe in and out. Martial arts have always been his thing. Level after level, he tries to get everything out of his head and only focus on the familiar moves he’s learnt so many years ago, but all he sees is the purple glow emiting from his arm and faces of prisoners he’s killed _back then_. The silence might as well be the crowds’ deafening screams when he cuts through one droid after another, panting and gasping just like he did at the arena. 

 

(There was something about being the Champion that stayed with him, wasn’t there? That satisfaction, the craving for victory, the power his bare hands had.) 

 

Weariness sets itself into his moves at one point, in form of blows he could’ve avoided but didn’t see coming, the addictional seconds it takes him to stand up when he’s thrown on the floor. The vigor he had at the beginning is replaced with anger along the way, anger at the universe for fucking him up so badly, at himself for being such a dumb, ideallistic kid, at the Galra for taking so much from him already and still being ready to kill him at any occasion. _What has he ever done to earn this?_ The question, as always, remains unanswered, floating in space alongside stars that never take notice. He’s done with it, done with the nightmares, the guilt, the _past_ , but it won’t ever stop haunting him, threatening to drown him even at this very moment. 

 

It _burns_ , the sensation suddenly gets to him, his arm _burns_. Not only the Galra part, the whole thing, the purple slowly fading as another droid lies in pieces. Nothing feels real, as if he himself wasn’t even there.

 

“End training sequence, _now_ ,” another voice joins in, and Keith turns around. It’s Shiro, in a sleeping robe, with concern visible in his features.

 

Suddenly, everything is painfully real again and Keith’s ashamed of how he’s looking, all sweaty, his hair a mess, breathing heavily, his Galra hand fuming. “Sorry I ruined, uh, a lot of them, Your-”

 

“It’s Shiro, we’ve talked about this.” It’s almost said in a playful tone, or so it sounds.

 

“Sorry, _Shiro_. The apology still stands.”

 

The whole situation must be amusing to the Prince as there’s a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He looks good like this, younger, more carefree. He should smile more often, Keith decides. “I guess I’ll forgive you this time. Try diplomacy, should they offend you again.”

 

“I’ll consider it.”

 

The last bit of that small smile is still in Shiro’s eyes when he comes closer. Keith can see him even clearer now, the Altean markings, the curve of his jaw, the under-eye bags from the obvious lack of sleep. There’s something about the Prince that pulls him in, some power that he just has over him. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”, he says, ever so kind. Or perhaps there is real worry behind that troubled gaze. The hesitance doesn’t suit him at all, not in the late hours of the night, not when they’re both more vulnerable than ever in front of each other. 

 

“Nothing I can’t deal with on my own. We’ve all got something, don’t we?”, Keith tries to smile. Shiro must appreciate the effort when he nods his head.

 

“Seems like it.” 

 

It feels cruel for Keith to mention a fraction of his own past to Shiro of all people, Shiro who’s already lost so much, Shiro who bore through it because he had no other choice. The thing that brought them together the most was the price they’ve already paid to defend the universe yet it kept dividing them at the same time. Keith would much rather not have the emotional baggage and face the Prince as he was back then, but it seems like there’s no way.

 

“Have I woken you up?”, Keith asks, suddenly hit with a pang of guilt. He’d never want to inconvinience him, or the other paladins, in that case.

 

“No, no, I couldn’t sleep, anyway.” That much Keith can see, in the tired eyes, the usual mask of confidence slipping away every word he says.

 

“Too much going on in your head, huh? Try practising next time, it really helps put it all down.”

 

“I’d never want to disturb you, Keith.” He says his name in a different way now, a bit more curious and a bit less formal.

 

“We could just, uh, you know. Spar. If you’d like that, of course.” _Why is he so bad at this?_   With _this_ being talking to people, not flirting in any case. He wouldn’t try to flirt with the Prince, especially not when he’s smiling again and i _s that a hint of a blush on his cheeks or has he died from all the embarassment and this is only a dying man’s vision_ -

 

“I’m holding you to that, _sir_ ,” Shiro smiles, he actually does, and he looks even more stunning like that. “Now it’s too late, we should be able to get at least three _vargas_ of sleep if we go now. Mind if I accompanied you on the way back?”

 

“Not at all, it’d be a pleasure.”

 

Keith wonders if Shiro used to do that back then, ten thousand years ago. If he smiled at others like he does at him now, if he made them laugh and keep promises. He doesn’t yet know how exactly that thought makes him feel, but it’s not good.

 

As they walk through the halls, there’s a comfortable silence between them. Shiro seems lost in his thoughts, perhaps a bit nostalgic, and Keith is once again reminded that he used to live here, surrounded by his people, his _family_ , and now there’s no one left but him and Matthew. It’s a terrifying concept to Keith. At least he remembers everything with vivid details.

 

“How was it? Back then,” Keith asks hesitantly. Part of him wants to remain quiet, but at the same time he wishes he knew Shiro from the past, the happy prince he must’ve been.

 

“Full of life. There used to be so many people, constant meetings, dinners…now it’s only us, wandering through an empty castle.”

 

The nostalgia in Shiro’s voice is painful, but somehow dulled, as if he’s thought about it a lot and just kind of accepted it, made himself swallow all that grief and move on. It makes Keith angry, because Shiro’s too good, too kind to deserve this cruelty from the universe.

 

“When the universe is safe, we’ll throw a ball. A real one. We’ll invite our allies, dance and pretend the war never happened.”

 

They’re by Shiro’s room now, talking in hushed voices so as not to wake anyone up. Standing like that, they’re almost touching, and Keith can feel every single inch separating them. He could reach out and touch the Prince’s face, just like this, feel him with those trembling fingertips, pull him _closer_ , until his breath tickled his cheek, but he never does.

 

“You keep making promises tonight, Keith. And making me hope you keep them all.”

 

Shiro’s like a vision, surreal in his beauty, and Keith’s suddenly ashamed of himself, staring into those grey eyes without explicit permission. He’d want nothing more than to kiss him, slowly, in the dark corridor, with no one watching, nothing but them and their wandering hands. He can almost see this happening, Shiro’s body beneath his, the warmth of his breath on his mouth, but it never happens.

 

“Shiro, I…”

 

“Not now. Don’t make another one.“

 

With hesitance, Shiro pulls away and Keith doesn’t move. He almost says something, _stay_ , but neither of them needs this right now. The universe must come first, before their own selfish needs. They can’t weigh each other down, not when everything is at stake.

**Author's Note:**

> **COMMENTS AND KUDOS MY DUDES**


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